Yesterday, the PGA Tour announced its new Player Impact Program (PIP). A $US40-million-dollar piggybank, the PIP will financially reward players who are judged to have driven the most fan and sponsor engagement (read: are the funniest on Twitter) during the course of a single season. After the end of the Tour Championship each year, the $40 million will be distributed among the top 10 players based on FedEx Cup Rank, Google search popularity, Nielsen Brand exposure, and a variety of other factors, with the top TikTok star taking home a whopping $US8 million windfall.

With that kind of money on the line, you’d better bet the games have already begun. First, 140 280-character wunderkid Max Homa came at the competition and, as the kids say, did not miss:

Then Harry Higgs threatened to take his shirt off. Tour officials have yet to confirm if OnlyFans contributes to your PIP ranking:

Even the Bryan Brothers saw an opportunity to reinvest their long-stagnant trick-shot capital:

Needless to say, we eagerly await Phil Mickelson’s retort. We’re sure he’s oiling up the calves and throwing another log on the Phireside as we type. As for the rest of the PGA Tour? They had better find their thing and fast. Juggling, ventriloquism, cultivating the physique of Godzilla. Whatever it takes. The PIP Tour is here to stay.