Golfpocalypse is a collection of words that runs prior to each week’s PGA Tour event, mostly ABOUT that event. Reach out with your hottest takes on absolutely anything at [email protected]. We’ll publish the best emails here.
Folks, get HYPED, because it’s leg number four of the Texas slam!
Or, if you can’t get hyped for that, at least without a small mountain of amphetamines, get hyped for Colonial Country Club, one of the better tour venues on the calendar. Want to hear a boring story about Colonial? When I first went there in 2014, I was fascinated by a big, stately tree I was seeing all over the course, and that had clusters of nuts in the branches. I couldn’t ID it (real Texans are already shaking their head), but I went to Google and ended up on a Sports Illustrated story from 1971 written by Dan Jenkins that closed the case: it was the mighty pecan, the Texas state tree. I can no longer find this story because SI nuked their archive (great move, guys), but it felt like making a kind of connection across the years with a legend of golf writing.
Did I ever take advantage of a chance to have a conversation with Jenkins, in the five years between that moment and his death? I did not, and I especially regret that now after coming across Bryan Curtis’ incredible profile of him at Grantland. But anyway, I guess I’ll always have the pecan connection.
On to Colonial!
1. Somebody please give Texas a signature event
Before I begin my complaint, I have to say that despite having zero signature events in its four tries, Texas has done well so far. We had Gary Woodland winning in Houston after all his trauma, J.J. Spaun with a wild finish at the windy Valero, and then Wyndham Clark knocking the field unconscious last week at the Byron Nelson. That’s pretty good, and you’ll notice a theme of re-emergence: Guys who, to one degree or another, were down and out for a while and got their signature comeback win in Texas. You know what this means, right?
Spieth is taking the Charles Schwab Challenge!!!!
[Checks field list to make sure he’s playing.]
F#@Q*&$!
Anyway, despite their gritty efforts, Texas is getting the scheduling shaft, and that’s not even mentioning that they stole my beloved Match Play from Austin. So come on, guys, at least give Colonial some status! It’s Colonial! Are we really OK coming to Hogan’s backyard with a field that includes zero of the world’s top eight players? This feels like blasphemy.
2. The main person to care about: Swedish Lude
Ludvig Aberg is NOT the lone representative of the world top ten this weekend—that honor belongs to noted Texas sharpshooter J.J. Spaun—but he is the most interesting man. In his last seven events, Aberg has six top-5s and seven top-10s, with his T-21 at the Masters the only exception. However, he has not won, and he very notably did not win at the Players Championship, where he had the proverbial bull by the horns and got thrown into the proverbial clown barrel instead. (Do rodeo clowns start out in barrels? Am I imagining this?)
Anyway, he’s got questions to answer, and this is a good opportunity with a weaker field. He hasn’t yet played Colonial on the PGA Tour, but he’s a Texas Tech guy and played there competitively in college, so it won’t be totally unfamiliar to him. But we’re definitely at the point where he’s got to show us something under pressure, and even as a Lude-stan who believes in him and will be rooting for him, I want to see a little Sunday grit. Where better to discover your tough inner sheriff than Texas?
3. This field is actually pretty fun for lacking the biggest guns
JT rounding into form after almost backdooring his third PGA? Bobby Mac trying to figure it out after stinking it up in the first two majors? Ben Griffin trying to do the Fort Worth repeat? Our first sighting of Alex and Maria Smalley since Aronimink? Rickie Fowler trying to prove there’s something left in the tank?
Rasmus Hojgaard eating a live fish on every hole????
We have some potential fun out there.
4. Seriously, though, what’s wrong with Bobby Mac?
The guy finishes fourth at the Players, second at Valero and then just drops off the map with an 80 on Thursday at the Masters, a 75 on Friday at the PGA and rough finishes at the two signatures in between. A look at his OWGR page shows that this is the worst run of form he’s had in two years, and it doesn’t make sense. I pray he’s not coming down with Straka Syndrome, where a world class player is stricken with a total inability to perform at the majors. We’re monitoring this closely.
5. Three facts to know about Colonial
Fact 1: It had the second-easiest opening hole on the PGA Tour last year. Do what you will with this info.
Fact 2: They’ve gone RUGGED. This Fried Egg video on the 2024 Gil Hanse restoration is fun, on the move to irregular bunkers, getting rid of the various concrete and stone, and a generally scrappier aesthetic. Good to notice!
Fact 3: It has a “tough stretch” nickname! Hell yes. You thought we were done with Snake Pits and Bear Traps and Donkey Dynamites? NOPE. Here we’ve got the “Horrible Horseshoe,” capped off by a truly tough fifth hole, a long par-4 along the Trinity River that played 15th hardest among all holes on the PGA Tour last year, which moves up to ninth if you don’t count Oakmont and Quail Hollow.
6. Golf Tweet of the Week: Colonial Breakdown
This whole thread is fun, and I recommend you start at the top, but Greg DuCharme here shows how important hitting greens is here, and how (and why) it’s one of the hardest places to do that:
To the point of more drivers, 4 of the last 5 winners ranked top 10 in driving distance for the week. These 4 players entered the week top 70 in driving distance.
The distance helps with the most important aspect of this course. Greens in Regulation.
— Greg DuCharme (@therealGFD) May 26, 2026
7. Ranking the Sponsor’s Exemptions
Whoa, did you know the Colonial has 10 sponsor’s exemption??? Most tournaments have four, these guys get all the way to double digits. I have to think this is down to Big Oil throwing its weight around. Problem is, most of the exemptions are bad:
Disappointing – Matt Kuchar – Colonial is too close to Mexico, where Kuchar won $1.296 million and tipped his caddie $5k.
Boring – Zac Blair, Albert Hansson, Nick Hardy, Ryan Palmer—I’m not even convinced Albert Hansson is a real golfer
Why? – Charley Hoffman—who asked for this???
Sure – Webb Simpson, Camillo Villegas—we love a plucky oldster
Fun – Kevin Kisner, Jackson Suber—they could remake Bull Durham as a golf movie with these two
8. One normie pick, one weird pick
For the normie pick, I’m going JT. Feels like that final round at Aronimink has him ready to start clobbering fools. For the weird pick, I’m going back to the theme of Texas winners in 2026 on the comeback trail, whether they were recovering from brain surgery (Woodland), a major hangover (Spaun), or punching lockers (Clark). Looking down the list, who qualifies?
[deep sigh]
It’s Keegan Bradley. I take no pleasure no in reporting this. It makes too much sense.
9. Rogue Golf Thought: You’re going to want to watch out for Wyndham Clark
Speaking of things I take no pleasure in reporting, Clark was so insanely good last week that he transported me fully back to a 2023 mindset, when I was convinced he had overcome his demons and would be an elite player for years to come. Obviously, things did not pan out that way, but if he’s got swing and his brain sorted, this man is dangerous. I don’t necessarily want to overreact to four days at the Tour’s version of a pitch-and-putt, but still … I feel about him roughly how I felt about Cam Young after his maiden win last year in Greensboro—this is a man on the verge of cooking.
10. Rogue Non-Golf Thought: What is the worst city in Texas?
Last week, I dissed Dallas as the worst city in America not named Orlando, and reader Scott wrote in with the following:
“Clearly, you’ve not spent any time in Houston”
In fact, Scott, I haven’t! I’ve been in Dallas and Fort Worth, both of which sucked spiritually and materially (and are impossible to drive in), and I’ve been to Austin a bunch of times, which I always love. Beyond that, my Texas experience is limited, though I’m looking forward to going to San Antonio for the first time this fall. San Antonio seems awesome.
But enough positivity! What are the real terrible Texas cities? I asked my Texas friends Anthony and Josh and also threw it out on Twitter, and here’s a rough list: Lubbock (people really hate Lubbock, including the guy on Twitter who called Texas Tech “a bunch of spineless gutless oil filled pigs”), Corpus Christi, Abilene, Vidor, Katy, Waco (big cult town), Allen, Amaraillo, Texarkana, Mesquite, and Midland. Charles Barkley hates Galveston. I’m throwing in Odessa because I read Friday Night Lights and it sounds bleak as hell. With that, I think we’ve basically covered every city in Texas.
Either way, none of those can be worse than Orlando.
This article was originally published on golfdigest.com
