Think you know the Unluckiest Golfer on Earth belt holder? Think again, because he’s been identified as this poor British chap below.

We came across this video of a UK golfer who got so hopelessly, helplessly stuck in the mud looking for his ball, that he needed to be extracted by what appears to be virtually an entire fire department. Laugh at your own karmic risk, you monsters.

To make matters even worse, the guy was wearing white pants. When it rains, it pours, folks.

As for your burning questions, we don’t have a ton of answers. Was it a Pro V1? What sort of alien mud is this? How many firefighters does it take to screw in a lightbulb and pull a guy out of some muck? Do you have to change your name and switch club memberships after this? Allegedly, no idea, at least three, and abso freakin’ lutely.

Sometimes it’s just better to drop another ball.