Masters 2025: A hater’s guide to watching Sunday’s final round at Augusta National

AUGUSTA, Ga. — Enough with the lovefest at the 2025 Masters.

My goodness, you can’t scroll past a tweet, an Instagram photo or a TikTok video without seeing somebody fawning over all the possibilties on Sunday at Augusta National. And it’s the same when you are walking around the grounds. The patrons are way too happy to be here. It’s golf clap this, ooo and ahh that. Everybody rooting and cheering.

Where’s the hate? If you’ve got hate in your heart, let it out.

It’s time we start rooting against some of these guys. There’s no better time for that than Masters Sunday. The chokes are just as good, if not better, entertainment than the coronations. I want high drama. I want PAIN and ANGUISH. Feed it to me. Straight to the veins, doc. I need it like I need air. Etc. Etc.

Would you like to join me? If you’ve made it this far, I believe the answer to that is a resounding yes. Below is the hater’s guide to watching Sunday’s final round at Augusta National. Sip on some of that sweet, sweet haterade with ya boy*.

RELATED: Masters tee times: Sunday’s final round pairings at Augusta National

(*Note: Can’t believe I have to do this, but the lines between sarcastic takes and real takes are so blurred on the modern-day internet that I must note this is all in jest. Lighten up, Francis)

Rory McIlroy, 12 under (leader)

Photo by JD Cuban

Rory? Really? You want Rory to win? You and all the other sheeple? Screw that. Let’s keep this “is this his year” story line going to the end of time. This place lives in his head, rent free. No shot thoughts of the 2011 collapse won’t creep into his head Saturday evening or Sunday morning. The mental and physical and historical pressure will be FAR too immense. Guy hasn’t won a major since ‘nam! Now he’s paired up with one of the best major performers on the planet right now. Bryson DeChambeau is wayyyy more fun anyway. Plus, Bryson ripping his heart out, part deux, would only strengthen the rivlary. Add fuel to McIlroy’s fire (it would practically douse it with gasoline). Say it with me now …. Hate hate hate hate.

Bryson DeChambeau, 10 under (solo second)

Stephen Denton

We literally just did this over the summer. Image already restored. His window is still wide open. This is RORY’S time. Honestly, if DeChambeau breaks his heart again, he’s veering into bully territory. Leave the poor little Northern Irishman alone. It’s been over a decade for him. Give somebody else a turn. Can’t do another winner’s press conference full of YouTube channel talk. “Break 50 helped me win this week!” Get OUT of here with that nonsense. Hate hate hate hate.

Corey Conners, eight under (solo third)

Photo by JD Cuban

Canada? LOL. Noooooo thank you. Little brother up north got their win already with Mike Weir in 2003 (boooring). That’s all they get. If Conners wins, the tarriffs get multiplied by infinity. Sorrey, guys. Hate hate hate hate.

Patrick Reed, six under (T-4)

Harry How

Ummm… you guys remember 2018? That was quite possibly the most subdued reaction for a Masters winner of all time at the 72nd green. NOBODY wanted this dude to win and that was BEFORE he went to LIV Golf. With the way the leaderboard looks now, you could argue this would somehow be an even less well-received dub for the former Captain America. Two green jackets for P-Reed? Y-U-C-K. Hate hate hate hate.

Ludvig Aberg, six under (T-4)

Photo by Stephen Denton

This cyborg? Just look at that cocky smile that needs to be wiped off his face. “Ooooo I’m Ludvig Aberg, I’m better looking than Adam Scott and I have a better swing and I’m gonna win a million majors and all I eat is Chipotle but I never get fat.” F you, dude. It doesn’t work like this. You don’t just get to finish solo second as a Masters rookie and then come back and win the following year. You need heartbreak first. You need adversity. It’s good for the soul. Just like hatred is. Hate hate hate hate.

Jason Day, five under (T-6)

Photo by Stephen Denton

Guy made a mockery of these sacred grounds with his fits last year. He should have been removed from the property in handcuffs. One-hit major wonder. Aussie! Aussie! Aussie! More like Hate! Hate! Hate! …. Hate!

Scottie Scheffler, five under (T-6)

Photo by Stephen Denton

I mean … we’ve all kinda had enough, right? We get it, you never miss a shot, you never have a blow-up hole, your misses are small, you’re inevitable. ENOUGH already. Pass the baton, Scott. Hate hate hate hate.

Shane Lowry, five under (T-6)

Photo by JD Cuban

Did you watch the Netflix “Full Swing” episode where they made it out like the FedEx St. Jude was some sort of crowning achievement for he and McIlroy. DISGUSTING. Imagine what they’ll do with his Masters episode? It’s da looook uh da Irish! Passssss. Hate hate hate hate.

Justin Rose, five under (T-6)

Photo by Stephen Denton

Kind of a “he is who we thought he was” situation after Saturday, right? Another typical Englishman fade job. Seen it a thousand times. He was never winning anyway. Hate hate hate hate.