Scottie chooses family, Rickie rising, and the fight for Augusta: 10 things for the Houston Open

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Golfpocalypse is a meandering collection of words that runs prior to each week’s PGA Tour event, mostly about that event. Reach out with your hottest takes on absolutely anything at [email protected]. We’ll publish the best emails here.

Look, at this point in the year are we mostly counting the days until Augusta? Yes, obviously. But I’m not BS’ing you when I say that the Houston Open has managed to deliver a few times in recent years, including last year when Min Woo Lee survived a bit of shakiness down the stretch to beat Scottie by one. Hence, I’m more excited than I probably should be for this week.

1. Rogue Golf Thought: LIV should just do Bryson vs. Rahm every week

I haven’t watched much LIV Golf because I think it’s dull. But when I woke up on the East Coast Sunday morning and saw that Bryson DeChambeau and Jon Rahm were about to go head-to-head in a playoff in South Africa, I searched it out on YouTubeTV. Harder than you’d think. I got there just in time for a truly jaw-dropping shot. This combination, Bryson vs. Rahm in a playoff, is one of the very few things that could have gotten me to tune in, and it paid off.

The aftermath was annoying, with predictable propaganda about how this was the greatest golf tournament ever staged. But they got this one thing right. My suggestion is simple. Just make LIV a one-on-one league between Bryson and Rahm. Each year is a 14-match series, sometimes stroke play, sometimes match play, and they’re mic’d up. Like an ongoing version of The Match, but serious. This idea can’t fail. Get me on the horn with Scott O’Neil STAT.

2. Goodbye to Scottie, the ’90s Buffalo Bills of the Houston Open

Congratulations in advance to Scottie Scheffler, who has withdrawn from the Houston Open to celebrate baby no. 2 with his wife Meredith. Great news for the Schefflers, and selfish fans like me who didn’t want him to miss the Masters, but not great for the Houston Open, who just lost the World No. 1.

What does his absence mean? Mostly, that someone else will have to finish second. Scottie managed the difficult feat of ending up T-2 in three of his last four tries, which has to be some kind of record. The three men who beat him are Min Woo Lee, Stephan Jager and Jason Kokrak, a part of Scottie’s resume they won’t be reading at his future Hall of Fame induction. With him gone, Chris Gotterup is the only other player in the world top ten teeing it up in Houston, so let’s spend the rest of the post talking about Duke’s chances of making the Final Four.

3. Jordan Spieth Sadness Index (JSSI)

Just kidding. We’ll talk about golf, and though Spieth isn’t teeing it up this week, I want to update the Sadness Scale. He finished T-11 last week. Our score was trending high at 7.1 before the Valspar, and I’m keeping it steady.

Why aren’t we less sad this week? My pal Kyle pointed out that in each of Spieth’s first three rounds, he played his final four holes in +2. If he had played them even, he would have won by a shot. The point is he rebounds with violent speed. Signs are promising. Not saying signs aren’t promising, but he shows no signs of stopping playing with our emotions. Under these circumstances, I refuse to reduce the Sadness Index.

4. To win in Houston, you must bomb

Data Golf tells the story clearly. To succeed at Memorial Park Golf Course, you better hit the ball a mile. This is why guys like Gary Woodland succeeded in the past. While it’s not impossible for a shorter hitter, it does feel like this course lacks subtlety. Rory, who is not playing this week, said last year “I feel like you can sort of stand up at every tee box and just hit it everywhere and be okay.”

Min Woo Lee set the scoring record at 20 under last year, and many players were close behind. Unless we get adverse weather or firmer conditions, expect another bloodbath. Lee is 13th in driving distance this year, and Gotterup is sixth, so they are clear favourites.

The bigger question. Memorial Park is a celebrated municipal course, loved even by architecture knowers. Is this another sign that it’s tough to impossible to have a track that works for the masses and is fit for the professional game?

5. Are you crawling back into our hearts, Rickie Fowler?

Have you noticed that Rickie is slowly, slowly creeping back to being very good? His finish at the Players was his worst of the year at T-42, but beyond that, he has a top-ten at Bay Hill and a bunch of top-20s elsewhere. In the last year, he’s gained about 70 spots in the OWGR. Should we be taking this seriously? Has he emerged from the place we thought he might be for the rest of his career, which is a kind of mid-level cruise control until he runs out of gas? He’s changed all the clubs in his bag this year, his shoulder seems to be better, and he’s got some motivation these next two weeks, as he’s still just outside of a Masters berth. Our emotions are already entangled with the Spieth odyssey, but maybe there’s room for one more mercurial talent with a last run still in his bones.

6. Who Are the Masters Hunters?

It’s always fun to watch guys grind like crazy in these last few weeks to get a Masters berth, so who should we be looking for? Well, first off, anyone who wins, because that’s an automatic entry. But with a cutoff of March 30—this Sunday—the guys who could theoretically still get in via a top-50 exemption are: Fowler (probably has to win), Pierceson Coody (ranked no. 51), and Michael Thorbjornsen (no. 56). On the flip side, Nicolai Hojgaard, ranked 47th, needs to hold on for one more week since he’s not yet qualified, and though it’s highly unlikely that he’ll fall four spots, it would be a sneaky horrible feeling to miss the cut in Houston and have to wait it out for two days. Especially because his brother Rasmus is already in … you can’t have your stern Danish parents saying Rasmus is the better twin. (Note: no idea if their Danish parents are stern, but better safe than sorry.)

7. Ranking the Sponsor’s Exemptions

Texas Guy, old – Bronson BurgoonTexas Guy, young – Cole HammerGood – Mason Howell – 18 years old, reigning U.S. Am champ, love to see the younguns get a crackBest – Trey Mullinax – Why is he the best? Well, because of this story, which not enough people know (pasted from Wiki):

In May 2019, at the Charles Schwab Challenge’s pro-am round, Mullinax got a concussion from a golf ball. Although he initially recovered and made the cut for the tournament, he struggled and missed every other cut in 2019, and was diagnosed with convergence insufficiency as a complication from playing through the injury.

Insane! Gotta be a Mullinax fan after that.

8. Golf Tweet of the Week: John Daly Eating It

It’s a sad fact of life that it’s funny when somebody falls down. I have been laughed at for falling, you probably have too, and we have all laughed at others. So when John Daly fell in the desert, there was a 100% chance it was going to be hilarious. In fact, it was even better than hilarious, because he fell down a hill and a couple of other guys fell in after him. The good news is, he wasn’t hurt, and he posted it on his own Instagram account to Jackass music, which means we can all laugh guilt-free:

9. One Normie Pick, One Weird Pick

I like Gotterup over Lee and Sam Burns, for all the usual reasons, but using the Bashers Theory, I’ll take Michael Brennan for my off-the-wall pick. He’s had a tough year, including a weird DQ at the Farmers, but he’s the third-longest driver on Tour and not that far removed from his red-hot 2025 fall. A course you can overpower is the perfect time for a comeback.

10. Rogue Non-Golf Thought: There is no feeling like having your ears unclogged

Look, I don’t know if this too personal or if some people will find it unpleasant, or what, but [Norm MacDonald Larry King voice] FOR MY MONEY, one of the best sensations you can have as a human being is unclogging your ears after a months-long wax buildup. One moment you live in a muffled world, like your entire head is inside a sack, and the next it’s an auditory explosion where you can hear every sound within five miles. You’re a superhero at that point; you can count the crickets on a front yard ten houses away. It’s mildly frightening how loud everything is. (Also, if I can be extremely real for a moment and risk alienating you forever, there’s something viscerally satisfying about the wax coming out.) My DIY method of unclogging ears is highly discouraged by the medical community so I won’t say it here—I don’t want to be sued by a dozen readers with blown ear drums—but next time you’re at a primary care appointment, ask for this, and experience a paradise of sound.