Those who have never had a hole-in-one know the feeling all too well. You pure an iron, it’s all over the flag, the entire group is saying things like “be right!” and “go in!” Never in a million years do you think it’s actually going to happen. Then the ball lands right next to the hole and takes a good hard look at it. Your stomach drops.

But it does not fall.

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That’s what happened to me on Monday, and it’s happened a handful of times before, too. It was on the 130-yard par-3 fifth at Rockaway Hunting Club in Lawrenceville, N.Y. Probably the most well-struck iron shot I’ve hit this season. The ball legitimately danced around the hole. But it would not go.

Unfortunately, this was the only video I could get of just how close I came:

Disgusting. 

When you come this close, you really start to wonder if it’ll ever happen. I know my Loop podcast co-host, Alex Myers, felt the same way for many, many years. His fortunes changed in a big way this past June, though, so I still have some hope. 

We dive a little deeper into my hole-in-one heartbreak on this week’s episode of The Loop below. Plus, Myers suffers some heartbreak of his own on the course, and we recap what ended up being a crazy busy week in golf. Please, have a listen, and like and subscribe to The Loop wherever you get your podcasts.

This article was originally published on golfdigest.com