By COLEMAN BENTLEY

Listen, we’re all for positivity and optimism and all the mumbo, jumbo your mum sends you emails about three times a week (it can’t be just my mum), but even hope has its limits. Sure, every day they don’t pull your Power Ball numbers, the better your odds become the next.

Hell, even math says the Gold Coast Suns have to make an AFL grand final some day. When it comes to plunking down cold, hard cash, however, you generally want better odds than “technically it’s possible,” something this bettor, who took Tiger Woods to win golf’s 2019 Grand Slam at Westgate Las Vegas Superbook this week, has apparently yet to learn.

Now five bucks doesn’t seem like much, especially at 500-1. For the cost of a Corona, this hopeful Tiger fan gave themself a (very remote) shot at $2,500 actual American dollars. The problem? Only one player in the modern golf era, Bobby Jones, has completed a true Grand Slam. And before you wet yourself, we know Tiger also won four consecutive Majors, but he did so across two calendar years – the patented “Tiger Slam” – which, while impressive, would not cash here. Top this delusional sundae with the fact Tiger hasn’t won a Major since the beginning of the Obama Administration, and this veers from savvy to sad in a heartbeat.

If you’ve really got the itch to throw some money at the Tiger train before it gets up to steam, though, just stick with the Masters, where at 12/1, Big Cat seems like solid value for money. As we reported back in January, anything beyond that – Majors over/unders, Jack’s record, even July 21st, 2019 – would just be a waste of a Corona (ultimately a silver-lining, but you get what we’re saying).