He’s giving out pearls here.
[ Illustration by Zohar Lazar ]
Anyone can plonk down hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars and take a lesson from an elite swing coach. But you’re really missing out if you don’t heed the advice of this guy. He has been giving lessons at Ed’s Golf Range and Bait Shop since 1986, and he guarantees to impact your
handicap by at least five shots.
Grip
“Hold the club gently like it’s a baby bird? Wrong! Grab it like you’re trying to strangle a banana. Ever see someone hold a sledgehammer gently? Plus, if you hold on tight enough, you’ll never need to replace your grips.”
Backswing
“When should it end? It depends on how far into the pond you’re trying to throw your driver.”
Chipping
“Let the bounce of your wedge do the work? That’s rich! I mean, everyone knows the best shots are hit with the back of the club.”
Laying up
“Check the distance to the green and locate any hazards that come into play. If there’s trouble, take a short iron, play the ball back in your stance, adjust your bum-bag, and lay up.”
Breathing
“Should you inhale or exhale during the backswing? From the looks of your game, you should be holding your breath.”
Avoiding double-bogeys
“Think, If I miss the green, where is the easiest place I can get up and down from with the extra ball in my pocket?”
Hitting a spinning wedge shot
“Grab your wedge, gripping almost down to the metal – then extend the butt end of the club to the nearest good golfer to hit the shot.”
Bunkers
“Best thing you can do is aim at them. That way, you’ll never be in one.”
Wind
“OK, so it’s blowing 25 to 30 in your face and someone told you to swing easy. Smart thinking. Then walk forward 50 metres and do it again.”
Lag putting
“Instead of that tiny hole, visualise your target as one big manhole with the cover off. That way, when you leave it 10 feet short or hit it 15 feet past, you’ll know you just suck at putting.”
Practice
“Start by hitting your wedges to several different greens and don’t move on to the longer clubs until you hit four or five on target. You know, like around Christmas Day.”
Slicing
“If 90 percent of golfers do it, how bad can it be?”
