Golf presents a broad array of ethical dilemmas, but none might be thornier than this: Is it OK to back out of one golf invite in favor of an even better golf invite?
Those who answer “Of course!” show such disregard for common decency they shouldn’t count on golf invites in the future. The rest of us fall somewhere between “Probably not,” and “Well, it depends,” and might even have examples of our own to defend. As a golfer you know ours is a civil game, and that civil people don’t savagely break commitments in favor of a better offer. But a golfer also might recognize life is short, and while golf friendships might last, invites to Cypress Point do not.
Although I normally caution against consulting the staff at Golf Digest for real moral quandaries, here I sought the input of a handful of colleagues to determine when opportunism trumps decorum. The Slack exchange below is lightly edited for clarity.
Sam Weinman: Is the old “switcheroo” of backing out of one golf invite because you get a better offer ever OK?
Chris Powers: I have countless examples.
Powers cited a time when he was invited to play Quaker Ridge, but bailed at the 11th hour when a spot opened up at Baltusrol closer to home. No, he’s not a member of either. Yes, you’re allowed to hate him.
Powers: Balty > Quaker.
The 14th green at Baltusrol’s Lower Course.
Evan Schiller
Technically he’s not wrong. According to Golf Digest rankings of America’s 100 Greatest Golf Course, Baltusrol’s Lower Course is ranked 45th and Quaker Ridge is 81st. But should this actually matter?
Luke Kerr-Dineen: I feel like it’s always OK to back out if you have an invite at, say, a top-5ish course in the state, but only if you haven’t played it before and the course is private.
Powers had played both courses plenty of times before, so that didn’t matter. But Baltusrol is indeed way closer to home.
LKD: I feel like that may fall under some kind of family/geographic exemption which is the only other time it’s OK.
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In Baltusrol and Quaker Ridge, we’re talking about two elite A.W. Tillinghast courses. Other than a longer drive, you couldn’t go wrong with either. Perhaps a more understandable dilemma is between two distinct options.
Alex Myers: [Name of Golf Digest employee redacted] bailed on a couple buddies a few weeks ago because he got invited to [name of exclusive private club redacted], when they were supposed to play at [name of local muny redacted]. The one big golfer completely understood, the newbie didn’t.
Shane Ryan: They’ll get over it if they’re a good friend or a potential good friend. A one-time bail-out if you’re honest with them shouldn’t leave anyone bitter. You should do a token “I tried to get you in” (if you can’t actually try to get them in) and that should be plenty. I would never get mad at a friend for this as long as it wasn’t a special occasion or a tournament or something.
Joel Beall: When it’s OK to back out:
When you discover you’re supposed to play with a miserable prick. When one course’s greens are aerated. When you find out a course is [name of bad golf course architect redacted] design.
This article was originally published on golfdigest.com
