The doorbell is ringing, the turkey is in the oven, and the whole damn golf world is coming for Thanksgiving. So what should you expect from your favorite golfers-turned-terrifying Turkey Day archetypes? As it turns out, a little bit of everything (and A LOT bickering too).

Most likely to complain about his seat: Patrick Reed

Most hungover: Shane Lowry

The dietary restrictions minefield: Gary Player

Killed the turkey himself: Brian Harman

Has been giving you a scientific explanation of tryptophan for 10 consecutive minutes now: Bryson DeChambeau

Just burned down the garage with his zero-gravity turkey fryer: Has anybody seen Bryson? He was here just a second ago…

Most over-the-top blessing before dinner: Jim Nantz

Can’t wait to tell you about his Detroit Lions parlays: Phil Mickelson

Just kicked nana in the head: Also Phil

Says your wine would be “good to cook with”: Miguel Angel Jimenez

Split his pants during the backyard football game: Tom Kim

The too-much-PDA couple: Molliwood

Stormed out when the discussion turned to politics: Rory McIlroy

Just ate the last roll: John Daly

Only shows up for the major holidays: Brooks Koepka

Pulled up in his Ferrari though it’s a blizzard: Ian Poulter

Playing dead-leg and making fart noises in the middle of grace: JT and Max Homa

Guy who’s STILL not done with dinner: Kevin Na

Is actually going to make everyone say what they’re thankful for: Jay Monahan

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