No sport on earth does worst-kept secrets quite like golf. The AFL gives it a run for its money and God only knows what happens in professional curling, but nothing breeds whispers, rumour and hearsay quite like a sport where you literally have to whisper. Of all of golf’s unspoken certainties, however, none has been more obvious (or hilarious) in recent years than the identity of the infamous @useGolfFACTS Twitter admin.
Our big brothers at Golf Digest have dug deep into the suspiciusly pro-Patrick Reed Twitter account in the past, and while no official conclusions were reached (Patrick doesn’t need another lawsuit on his hands, let’s be honest), the overwhelming consensus is that the mastermind behind @useGolfFACTS is none other than Reed’s wife, Justine.
This has been neither confirmed nor denied by the Reeds, but yesterday we got the closest thing to an admission yet when a joke about Justine’s, um, specific taste in sporting-event seating prompted this instantly iconic reply:
These look like nice seats to me! pic.twitter.com/l0hO5GDbrH
— GolfFACTS (@useGolfFACTS) April 17, 2023
This isn’t exactly George W. Bush saying “Ladies and gentlemen, we got him.” It’s not the FBI finding Whitey Bulger kickin’ it in Santa Monica, but in the weird, wild, insular world of Golf Twitter, it’s pretty darn close.
The tweet by No Laying Up’s Tron Carter specifically references Justine Reed’s outburst after a 2018 Boston Red Sox game, in which she characterised their premium baseline seats as the “line-drive section” and slammed the PGA Tour for providing the tickets (for the record, all 30 MLB teams instituted netting in 2018). With Patrick Reed seen taking in an AFL game ahead of LIV Golf’s Adelaide stop this week, the waters were ripe for fishing and @useGolfFACTS – either unthinkingly or simply because they do not care anymore – gobbled up the bait.
Perhaps this won’t be the end of the saga. Part of us even hopes it’s not, if only for the laughs. But if this is truly the pulling of the curtain – the ‘Wizard of Oz’-ian reveal we have long pined for – then there’s nothing to say but congratulations. In today’s day and age, where everyone knows everything about everybody in three clicks and a swipe, Justine – or whoever – had a hell of a run.